I wanna hold your Haaannd...

Every week, I receive at least three emails from different Incubators and Accelerators, Indian and foreign regarding contests and programs, most of them paid, each invariably offering the same menu of mentoring, hand-holding and government and industry connections as a service. All have little appeal to us as most mentors I have come across or who were forced upon me, had zero idea or domain knowledge about what we are doing, with personalities ranging from simply inept to domineering know-alls.

The same applies to hand-holding as it can be interpreted in any way one chooses as there is neither assurance of the quality of the help rendered nor accountability. The promise of government and industry connections is an equal farce because most decision-making level Sarkari Babus even after granting a meeting, have little or no incentive to follow through on their commitments. 

Industry connections are usually worse, as the best one can hope for is a motivational speech by a CEO or a Chairman at a meeting, but mostly it's an interaction with a low to medium-level cog having neither authority nor any intent to risk his or her career by taking up the cause of a struggling Startup. In the worst case, your product or service idea can be pinched and touted to their bosses as their own work.

 

 Check out more great Startup related cartoons 

at https://freshspectrum.com

 

 I learned quickly enough that just like most so-called Startups are full of Bullshit and Buzzwords created  solely with the agenda of snaring investors money using the greater-fool template,  most Incubators and Accelerators also exist for their vested interests. First, it's their salaries, a number game as to how many they take under their wing and lastly, a percentage as service charges in case they are lucky enough to snare an investor for a Startup.

Lately, with the government-promised funds to develop the Startup economy drying up, getting stuck or simply vaporising and with the investors not forthcoming any longer, considering the abysmal track record of Indian Startups, including unicorns, many are starting to devise paid programs, the kind mentioned earlier. Peddling dreams of Investors and purported knowledge to the desperate and to make the programs seem more exclusive, they  claim to cap the numbers. 

As it is, Indian Incubators and Investors have both been playing safe all along, as evidenced by their preference for supporting only proven business models with a predictable business trajectory and revenue stream. Hence, the term Startup has been turned on its head and essential elements like innovation, the usage of technology to solve a problem and disruptive elements are forgotten, it is now used to define any new brick-and-mortar entrepreneurial venture. In the Indian context, a Jute Bag maker qualifies to be called a Startup, a Pickle maker is also a Startup, and so is the Tour operator, offering rustic nature trails and village home-cooked meals! All that is required is a DIPP number and to sign up for incubation with a government recognised Incubator.

“Oh you are cribbing again, so negative and frustrated” I hear a chorus of self-righteous chiding voices already!

Nope, I am just narrating from experience, and if you want to know what worked for us, it is working without intermediaries. We stumble, fall, pick ourselves up, learn from mistakes, knock on all doors, and sometimes open them ourselves. Nothing works like tenacity and confidence in the work that you are doing, moving one sure step at a time, going as lean as possible, crossing several milestones and attaining a certain critical mass to achieve a modicum of bargaining power.

Lastly, experience has taught me to dismiss right away all the big-mouthed, all-promising new people one meets at the exhibitions with shovel loads of salt, as well as with caution because that is where you meet all the  loudmouth and con-men, not to forget the bipolar, psychotic, narcissistic fruitcakes.

An Eulogy, a Well & Innovations

A noted intellectual from Assam, Dr Hiren Gohain, wrote a long glowing eulogy about my recently departed father, Dr Pranav Jyoti Deka. Though trained as a geologist and a teacher of the subject for most of his life, my father shall be remembered for his literary work, from compiling the largest, 40,000-word English-Assamese dictionary for 17 years, to becoming a Sahitya Akademi awardee for his short stories in his deathbed.

 

My father Dr. Pranav Jyoti Deka, at about the time 

when he decided to dig a well in Shillong.

 In his article, Dr Gohain mentioned a long-forgotten fact that my father dug the first well in the NE-Indian Hill Station Shillong, then the capital of Assam, now of Meghalaya. When he started this project, it was just a matter of calculation for him as a geologist, as our house was in a depression amidst two hills. For the rest of town, he was a laughingstock, with people gossiping, "Even British engineers couldn't do it," till he struck the water, that too, at a relatively shallow depth. Soon, wells were dug all over Shillong.

A deep-rooted skepticism towards any innovative or inventive capabilities of our fellow citizens is almost written in the Indian DNA. We proudly throw the word innovation around, mistakenly correlating it with the pan-Indian word "Juggad", which in its best translation means "make-do" if not "cobbling up," but rarely acknowledge or believe in an original design or breakthrough work done by a compatriot.

When I designed and built a virtually smokeless Biomass Stove with a rotating vortex flame without using electric fans or any forced air, people wanted to know from where I copied the design. After we built the first Bamboo Composite boat, some (knowing that I was a frequent visitor there)asked me if I got the technology from Russia, of all places. 

Recently, during an interaction with potential investors, explaining our next project of converting discarded Wind Turbine Blades into multi-hull vessels, a proposal earlier selected by the European Innovation Council, but unfortunately couldn't see the light of day, they too expressed skepticism about the idea's originality, and that nobody thought of it or done it before, which effectively sealed the matter for any further discussions from our side.

All the while, the IIT professors on various juries couldn't resist asking, but where is the innovation? But my best experience is still the grimacing Startup SuperGuru from an IIM down south, who demanded to know from me why boats should be built in Assam since they are already being built elsewhere! 

I am still disappointed that he didn't end with the word "Rascal"!

Millenials - A Rant

 Try as much as I like to stay away from social media, no matter how it's called except for the bare essentials, in order not to be engulfed by the forced positivity, political propaganda, or the desire to rant, but couldn't resit making a post ...the last type. A move prompted by a series of WhatsApp messages by a Butt Hurt millennial who lost a very small deal due to his competitor offering a better product at a lower price. Where instead of working on his prices and calling up or emailing a better offer, he decided to bombard me with WhatsApp messages trying to guilt-trip me about how disappointed he was. He screwed up my thought process and the work I was doing, and eventually got blocked and along with it lost a much larger order for another product which he was poised to receive.

 

 

Which brings me to making a list of things where I have serious issues with this generation:

1. Insane levels of entitlement.
2. Inability to hear a No.
3. Jumping to first names and acting as if the other person is their peer.
4. Having excuses for all occasions.
5. Inability to take a scolding, no matter how well deserved.
6. Confusing their Degrees, Excel sheets, Google and ChatGPT for real knowledge or experience.
7. Relying on Chat messengers instead of calling up or requesting a face to face meeting.
8. Expecting their failed attempt in getting anything done to be considered as a mission accomplished just for trying.
9. Not shying from offering suggestions while having only the most superficial knowledge and zero experience.
10. As for the women...well, we are living in a post #metoo environment...so no comments.

I can go on and on, and I know the above doesn't apply to everyone, as there are young people slugging it out in the real world with grit, determination and hard work. Yet, a millennial is as a millennial does, and there is no denying that, and they are all around.

Blocked from LinkedIn ( They can Shove It!!)

 Hi Leana (LinkedIn Executive), 

I will assume that you are a person and not a mindless (AI) bot, the same kind that had been flagging my posts as abusive. If you bothered to read through the three posts sent to me where apparently I didn't live up to your cryptic community standards, whatever they may be, then you would realize that the only thing I am guilty of is satire, quoting a famous song by John Lennon, and for stating a verifiable truth, which I agree was in an albeit flippant language. 

The first post parodied the recent mass hysteria over balloons created by the US media, where I shall assume my horrendous crime was writing that COVID was caused by Aliens, but, well the context was that it was a suggestion for making a sequel of the Sci-Fi serial "Dark Skies" which already shown that everything from John Kennedy's assassination to Charles Manson's cult was work of Aliens unless the Bot was offended about me referring to lesbian sex(or homosexuality which all modern TV serials make a point to proselytise) or Canada's arsenal of Spears and Arrow to fight UFOs. Or wait,  was it because along with this post, I shared the news item where Edward Snowden stated that the UFO hysteria was created by the US government to hoodwink the public to distract them from their involvement in the Nord Stream Gas pipeline?

My second flagged post again referred to  the western media's hysteria about the alleged killing of Iranian women, (now conveniently forgotten) drawing parallels with the BLM movement, where I just quoted John Lennon and Yoko Ono's song "woman is the nigger of the world!"  If your Bots get triggered by the "N" word, I suggest LinkedIn cancels John Lennon first and comes after me later. The last flagged post, which I agree could have been worded a little better, where I said that "the trannies were the love-child of the Feminists and the Wokies! It was a comment on a post where a lady lamented about the Feminist silence about Guys in Drag aka  Transvestites taking over women's sports. Well, the 3rd wave Feminist movement was the biggest cheerleader for transvestites, transwomen, trannies or whatever you call them and that's a verifiable fact, the same goes for the so-called Woke culture.

Now after first deceitfully taking my passport details, allegedly to ascertain my identity, which I have no idea why LinkedIn needs and with whom its details shall now be shared, most likely against my interest and without my consent, you want me to appeal my restriction with a "Mea Culpa" declaration that I will not abuse your shifting goal post "Community and Professional Guideline."  I have neither abused anyone in any way nor individual nor community, spread hate or misinformation in my posts or comments and so I am not planning to stand on my knees and beg virtual forgiveness, as it will be an admission of guilt where I don't see myself as guilty of wrongdoing. 

As I asked you in my earlier mail, I would appreciate it if you let me take a backup of my account, and you are free to close it for good. Eight years on LinkedIn has been an utter waste of time anyway, with neither a single job offer nor a single paying client. As I have been saying lately, all social media is a complete waste of time, "Not a single fuck from Facebook, nor a single client from LinkedIn!!" 

Okay, I admit I lied a bit about Facebook.

Regards,

Ravi Deka

PS: Now as to the real reason why LinkedIn removed my account altogether, it's most probably for sharing stories censored by the western mass media like Seymore Hersh's expose of the US Bombing of the Russo/German NORD Gas Pipeline Stream, or Edward Snowden claiming that the US Balloon UFO hunting is nothing but a disinformation campaign to take away people's attention from the same incident. And after first insidiously taking my passport details allegedly to ascertain my identity, they just closed down my account. Hi CIA or its it NSA!! It's Ravi here...

Hardly an action taken for quoting songs or offending Trannies and Wokies...

Slash, Burn, Earn - US Foreign Policy in a Nut Shell

 It has been a consistent trend in all US foreign interventions not to give a damn about what happens after they are gone, except for installing a puppet regime or dictator who gets deposed in no time. In the US occupation of Iraq after the ouster of Saddam Hussain as much as $ 9 billion of their gold reserve vanished, just like $6 billion of the Iraq reconstruction fund, all paid for by Iraqi oil. All under the watchful eye of the US Presidential envoy Paul Bremmer. The more far-reaching and deadlier consequence was the rise of Islamists in a hitherto secular country with armed and fanatical Shia and Sunni militias, culminating with the formation of Daesh or ISIS.

Laos, which had never been at war with the US is the most heavily bombed country in the world, again courtesy of the US Air Force, only due to being a neighbour of Vietnam where the latter was fighting a losing war. Cambodia is a close runner up, having the largest number of landmines, with even deadlier long-term consequences. Because not satisfied with bombing ricefields and villages of a poor defenceless country from a 1 km up, the US next orchestrated a coup removing the neutral, legitimate and popular ruler, Prince Norodom Sihanouk with a military junta led by General Lon Nol. This started a grizzly civil war that finally saw the China sponsored and US-supported Khmer Rouge or the Communist Party of Kampuchea (CPK) regime, led by Pol Pot grab power.

They proceeded to kill and starve to death more than a million Cambodians from 1975 to 1979. After the Vietnamese army ousted the genocidal regime in 1979, Pol Pot and the remnants of the Khmer Rouge got refuge in Northern Thailand, thanks to, you guessed it, the US. They continued funding them for no reason other than spite against the Vietnamese who were still occupying Cambodia, just because they kicked their butt in the Vietnam war. In 1981, US President Carter's national security adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski, declared, "I encouraged the Chinese to support Pol Pot. The US", he added, "winked publicly" as China sent arms to the Khmer Rouge(KR) through Thailand." Being of Polish origins and an avid Russia hater, Brzezinski was also instrumental in the ouster of the Shah of Iran to install Khomeini and an Islamic theocracy to be used as a springboard of Islamic militancy into the Soviet Union, but we all know how it ended. So he went along with Plan B which was arming and funding the Mujaheededn in Afghanistan, against the Soviets. We also know how it ended.

Coming back to the modern days, do you still think that the US is arming Ukrainians because they are a democratic freedom-loving country ?? What is the long term commitment of the US in helping to rebuild the country, provided Russia loses this war? Or is it going to go the same way as the Iraq reconstruction fund where 6 billion USD of Iraqi Petrodollars disappeared under the nose of the Emperial Viceroy Paul Bremer?

How much investment have you raised for your Startup ??"

 It is a matter of vexation that the word Startup these days is associated solely with raising money and not what that concern is trying to do and which problem statement it is trying to solve. It was during a recent expo where I participated, that I had an otherwise well-meaning young chap with his own budding enterprise, constantly asking me the same question in one way or another "Heh, heh, so how much investment have you been able to raise??"

Finally fed up, I made him sit down and told him," Zero"! But I have had over 20 outright rejections to my pitches( I stopped counting after 20) as my work of building safe, sustainable and affordable riverboats and nautical equipment is seen as very limited in size and scalability. I was also told that I was too old to start a Startup, was mocked for not having a formal technical education, that my designs were pinched from the internet, that I lacked a team, traction and that it is a matter of doubt whether my perennially flood-prone State of Assam in NE India which is also crisscrossed by the Brahmaputra and other large rivers has any requirements of boats at all.

That the tiny grants I clawed out from here and there, the modest amount I managed to scrounge as a soft loan along with all my savings were poured into work, prototyping technology trials and development. That I worked 7 days a week, no longer have a family or personal life, live on a hand to mouth budget, got grievously injured with power tools multiple times, suffered from nerve damage and occasional temporary partial blindness from overworking with computer screens and everything that he saw on the display table was either designed, drafted, 3-printed, cast machined and welded either by me or in my presence. That I researched designed, drafted, and drew the CAD diagrams and 3d renderings by myself, sit with propeller design and NavCad software and the same with all the patents I filled. I interact with experts worldwide and do approach professionals like Naval architects and mechanical engineers at times for verifying my work, but honestly, find them unsure, ignorant or incompetent most of the time.

And yes, I stopped participating in most of the pitch fests or interacting with the so-called incubators as I found them to be manned by people with very poor understanding of technology irrespective of their fancy degrees, pompous and often ignorant of ground realities. Moreover, the entire Startup investment scenario in India is not about creating a new product or service but only about increasing the firm's valuation and snaring the bigger fool as an investor; hence for me a colossal waste of time. I am actually trying to solve problems in a completely neglected sector both in India and elsewhere and hopefully, my products and technologies will save a few lives and provide the boat owners and private ferry operators a cleaner, safer greener and more affordable alternative.

#Startup #India #investors #pitches #valuation #sustainbility

Fake as a Troll ( Trolls ?? My Arse !!)

I first wanted to post a cartoon of a bare human arse as my solemn message to all online Trolls but decided that in these trying times it may be misinterpreted: As pornography, sexism and insulting to a woman's dignity if female, or an invitation to be sodomized or solidarity with Gay pride if male. 

One of the primary reasons I gave up on Facebook (never to regret) were the Trolls that seemed to come out of the woodwork at every step wearing the widest assortment of masks, but quite unitary in their task: to argue, demean and intimidate people little known to them or even complete strangers. 

These comprise all manner of Desh Bhakts(Indian Hindu Patriots) or zombified Modi cultists, many of them NRIs( Indian origin emigrants) or those who will scoot abroad at the first opportunity, but always up in arms to defend Hinduism and Mother India's Honour and Virginity. Not to forget the innumerable Muslim bigots who try to first pose as liberals (often hiding behind Hindu and Christian names) and later playing the victim, pointing shakey accusatory fingers screeching: Islamophobia!!

Once I got a friend request from someone called Kaushik Trehan, who judiciously followed each and every Facebook post I made, which bordered on stalking. And what I found very surprising was an extremely Pro-Muslim slant in many of his comments on my posts, which I found questionable for someone bearing a Hindu name and especially as being an abject atheist,  I neither ever expressed any Muslim bashing Hindu-rightwing views nor any support for their constant cries of victimhood.

Furthermore, this Kaushik Trehan had a very familiar way of writing which I found remarkably similar to that of a certain Mr Mazumdar. A Facebook friend who I never met personally, but knew to be a carpet bagger who married into a very moneyed Muslim family, and was representing his wife's family business in one of the Arab countries. And who spent all his free and working time on social media posing as an Indian liberal, either bashing Modi or bemoaning the plight of Muslims in relatively sophisticated English in his posts. So a quick google image reverse search revealed that the profile picture was indeed of one Kaushik Sengupta and but not a Trehan,  who was a research scholar at the Delft University and an email to him had him confirm that it was not his Facebook profile. So I wrote an ominous post about people stealing identities and making fake profiles to monitor friends (Stassi-like) to gauge their real view on the "one true religion, and its proponents." Within a matter of minutes, the Kaushik Trehan exploded into a flurry of F-words accusing me of being a Bastard, an Islamophob,  of being a closet Hindu Supremacist and also a Misogynist (but I thought it was a necessity in the religion of peace). He also took screenshots of my profile page which had numerous photographs of my very young daughter and pasted them to all over the Woke and Liberal groups on Facebook warning them all about what a scoundrel I was.

His abuse too,  word by word sounded exactly like the ones regularly used by Mr Mazumdar in his regular rants, but who incidentally still doesn't acknowledge that the fake profile was his and has been playing the victim card since.

Let's also not forget the entitled angry feminists, many of them single(not surprisingly), others mooching off their well-earning husband and living a relatively luxurious life and those living on generous alimony courtesy the bastard of an ex-husband, but always chiding people (men) about rape and the plight of the poor unprivileged women. There are also those whose mantra is a sort of a reverse of a Door's song "Men seem wicked when you are unwanted(or untouched)" for being obnoxious, obese, ugly and angry. 

One such character was a woman who I knew since my early teenage who despite being accepted as "one of the guys,"  demanded not just beer goggles but partial or preferably full blindness to be seen as attractive by a normal man( and no she didn't have a heart of gold either).  And with age taking its toll and despite her arrange-marriage snared husband, her appearance and demeanour didn't improve and neither did her grudges lessen towards the human male. And so when she once posted a meme that proclaimed all men as rapists, I didn't loose an opportunity to bait her and I immediately wrote a comment congratulating her for coming out of the closet and requested that share publicly how many times she or her female relatives had to undergo such victimization (got raped) along with the names of the perpetrator (here it was my morbid curiosity as to whether he was blind or a contender for world's biggest pervert title), as the world needs to know the truth about rape and victims should be bold enough to face the culprits to bring them to justice. She promptly deleted my comment, but I had already copied it, and immediately pasted it back. This continued about half a dozen times till she finally deleted her post and next unfriended me. 

Was I trolling her? Probably! 

Do I regret it? Not the least!!

Plus, let not forget the most pathetic kind of trolls around; the squeaky, pesky "Manginas" or the Male Feminists who hope that their pathetic online squabbles with male sexists and misogynists would endear them to the female of the species and possibly score them a girlfriend, maybe they would even get to loose their virginity at 28. There are also those who would proudly show their posts to their other halves hoping to score brownie points redeemable as a BJ in the best of days, but more likely just a lesser intensity of nagging.

And there's also the whole Woke Brigade and SJWs, facebook feuds with whom would require a few more pages of disdainful venom to describe them all. 

In short, I was done tolerating angry, disgruntled people of all ages, faiths and genders seeking self-validation via online bravado, aggression and self-aggrandizement or self-professed victimhood and the endless rhetoric and vitriol. Especially when most of them in real life are meek, resentful underdogs who can only thrive in the quasi anonymity of the internet and social media with their online personas as Facebook Falcons, Twitter Tigers and WhatsApp Warriors. 

Unfortunately, LinkedIn the only platform that I still use too has no lack of them. 

And the only effective tool that works with these pests is not winning an argument, as engaging with them eventually brings one down to their level, but Blocking right away. 

And that's what I do and have no qualms about it at all.