Thursday, May 9, 2024

I wanna hold your Haaannd...

Every week, I receive at least three emails from different Incubators and Accelerators, Indian and foreign regarding contests and programs, most of them paid, each invariably offering the same menu of mentoring, hand-holding and government and industry connections as a service. All have little appeal to us as most mentors I have come across or who were forced upon me, had zero idea or domain knowledge about what we are doing, with personalities ranging from simply inept to domineering know-alls.

The same applies to hand-holding as it can be interpreted in any way one chooses as there is neither assurance of the quality of the help rendered nor accountability. The promise of government and industry connections is an equal farce because most decision-making level Sarkari Babus even after granting a meeting, have little or no incentive to follow through on their commitments. 

Industry connections are usually worse, as the best one can hope for is a motivational speech by a CEO or a Chairman at a meeting, but mostly it's an interaction with a low to medium-level cog having neither authority nor any intent to risk his or her career by taking up the cause of a struggling Startup. In the worst case, your product or service idea can be pinched and touted to their bosses as their own work.

 

 Check out more great Startup related cartoons 

at https://freshspectrum.com

 

 I learned quickly enough that just like most so-called Startups are full of Bullshit and Buzzwords created  solely with the agenda of snaring investors money using the greater-fool template,  most Incubators and Accelerators also exist for their vested interests. First, it's their salaries, a number game as to how many they take under their wing and lastly, a percentage as service charges in case they are lucky enough to snare an investor for a Startup.

Lately, with the government-promised funds to develop the Startup economy drying up, getting stuck or simply vaporising and with the investors not forthcoming any longer, considering the abysmal track record of Indian Startups, including unicorns, many are starting to devise paid programs, the kind mentioned earlier. Peddling dreams of Investors and purported knowledge to the desperate and to make the programs seem more exclusive, they  claim to cap the numbers. 

As it is, Indian Incubators and Investors have both been playing safe all along, as evidenced by their preference for supporting only proven business models with a predictable business trajectory and revenue stream. Hence, the term Startup has been turned on its head and essential elements like innovation, the usage of technology to solve a problem and disruptive elements are forgotten, it is now used to define any new brick-and-mortar entrepreneurial venture. In the Indian context, a Jute Bag maker qualifies to be called a Startup, a Pickle maker is also a Startup, and so is the Tour operator, offering rustic nature trails and village home-cooked meals! All that is required is a DIPP number and to sign up for incubation with a government recognised Incubator.

Oh you are cribbing again, so negative and frustrated” I hear a chorus of self-righteous chiding voices already!

Nope, I am just narrating from experience, and if you want to know what worked for us, it is working without intermediaries. We stumble, fall, pick ourselves up, learn from mistakes, knock on all doors, and sometimes open them ourselves. Nothing works like tenacity and confidence in the work that you are doing, moving one sure step at a time, going as lean as possible, crossing several milestones and attaining a certain critical mass to achieve a modicum of bargaining power.

Lastly, experience has taught me to dismiss right away all the big-mouthed, all-promising new people one meets at the exhibitions with shovel loads of salt, as well as with caution because that is where you meet all the  loudmouth and con-men, not to forget the bipolar, psychotic, narcissistic fruitcakes.

Wednesday, May 8, 2024

An Eulogy, a Well & Innovations

A noted intellectual from Assam, Dr Hiren Gohain, wrote a long glowing eulogy about my recently departed father, Dr Pranav Jyoti Deka. Though trained as a geologist and a teacher of the subject for most of his life, my father shall be remembered for his literary work, from compiling the largest, 40,000-word English-Assamese dictionary for 17 years, to becoming a Sahitya Akademi awardee for his short stories in his deathbed.

 


My father Dr. Pranav Jyoti Deka, at about the time 
when he decided to dig a well in Shillong.


 In his article, Dr Gohain mentioned a long-forgotten fact that my father dug the first well in the NE-Indian Hill Station Shillong, then the capital of Assam, now of Meghalaya. When he started this project, it was just a matter of calculation for him as a geologist, as our house was in a depression amidst two hills. For the rest of town, he was a laughingstock, with people gossiping, "Even British engineers couldn't do it," till he struck the water, that too, at a relatively shallow depth. Soon, wells were dug all over Shillong.

A deep-rooted skepticism towards any innovative or inventive capabilities of our fellow citizens is almost written in the Indian DNA. We proudly throw the word innovation around, mistakenly correlating it with the pan-Indian word "Juggad", which in its best translation means "make-do" if not "cobbling up," but rarely acknowledge or believe in an original design or breakthrough work done by a compatriot.

When I designed and built a virtually smokeless Biomass Stove with a rotating vortex flame without using electric fans or any forced air, people wanted to know from where I copied the design. After we built the first Bamboo Composite boat, some (knowing that I was a frequent visitor there)asked me if I got the technology from Russia, of all places. 

Recently, during an interaction with potential investors, explaining our next project of converting discarded Wind Turbine Blades into multi-hull vessels, a proposal earlier selected by the European Innovation Council, but unfortunately couldn't see the light of day, they too expressed skepticism about the idea's originality, and that nobody thought of it or done it before, which effectively sealed the matter for any further discussions from our side.


All the while, the IIT professors on various juries couldn't resist asking, but where is the innovation? But my best experience is still the grimacing Startup SuperGuru from an IIM down south, who demanded to know from me why boats should be built in Assam since they are already being built elsewhere! 

I am still disappointed that he didn't end with the word "Rascal"!

Cherchez Le Femme

The Russians love to use the French phrase "Cherchez La Femme," popularized by Hugo, which implies that most trouble, directly or ...