Thursday, July 10, 2025

Russi Topi and other Delusions



 

 Image source: https://www.saatchiart.com/en-de/nervf

Out of the blue, I was contacted by a Russian chap I had once met at a conference. No prior message, no email—just a straight video call from his car. No apology, no excuses, or preamble. He claimed it was common practice for them, and immediately looped in a colleague. Since nothing about Russia—or Russians—surprises me any more, especially when it comes to their business culture, or the apparent lack of it, I didn’t react. From unscheduled calls to blunt emails and bullying tactics during meetings, it's all part of doing "Bizness wiz Mazeer Russha." It was evening, I was free, so I let it slide.

He had called for the unlikeliest reason— not one I could have ever guessed—they wanted to discuss the scope of sourcing construction workers from India. They first grumbled about how hard it was to get labour import quotas, pitched it as a “great opportunity” for me, even gave me a peep of Lubyanka—former KGB, now FSB headquarters—from the car window. He also cursed the “pederasts” who removed  Zhelezny (Iron) Felix, (the statue of 
Felix Dzerzhinsky,  the Soviet revolutionary of Polish origin, who led the precursors of the KGB, now FSB which stood in Lubyanka square till it was removed in 1991), and even bragged about once being hosted by some former Raja in India.  A half-hour, mostly irrelevant, headache-worthy dialogue that was more a capsule of Soviet nostalgia, Russki swagger, and Putin-era imperial delusions and less about business. Thankfully, he didn't have a Z tattoo on him—or maybe he did. 

I told them, that I shall revert.

Sure enough, according to various reports, Russia now wants 1 million (low-wage, obedient, and compliant ) 
Indian workers to fill its market gap. Post-Soviet Russia has had a recurring problem finding blue-collar workers, so far filled by legal and illegal job migrants from predominantly Central Asian, Muslim ex-Soviet republics—mostly Tajikistan and Uzbekistan. 

Usually referred to as "Gastarbeiters" (German for guest workers), and equally by a bunch of slurs like Churka & Oleni.  Their wages were low, living conditions ranging from bad to atrocious, and virtually non-existent rights. Plagued by all-round extortion, bribery and racial profiling, all backed by institutionalised, systemic, and culturally entrenched racism.  Equally preyed upon by mafia goons from their own diaspora—extorted for protection money or coerced into drug running. 

Still, they came, as economic conditions back home were dire, and the political situation no better. Different clans ran the bureaucracy, with a dictator-for-life and his family at the helm of what could only be described as a dystopian post-communist Khalifat. Countries like Tajikistan also suffered from a decade of civil war between the old guard and Islamic radicals. 

Over the years, they
 obtained work permits—real and fake (both paid for, of course). Many acquired Russian citizenship, brought over families, multiplied, took over enclaves, and are no longer willing to work for the same wages and conditions. Many moved up the economic ladder, in due course themselves becoming labour contractors, entrepreneurs and business owners.

With this influx, also came several friction points as some of these guest workers weren’t exactly model citizens, with frequent involvement in theft,  gang violence, and a disturbing number of crimes against women—Russian women.

Though Russia has a sizeable, though extremely Russified, ethnic Muslim population, it was only after the influx of these immigrants that Islam became more visibly present. Roads blocked for prayers during festivals, goats and sheep being sacrificed in public. The breaking point came with the terrorist attack in the Crocus City hall in Moscow last year, perpetrated by Islamists from Tajikistan. And even though the Russian government immediately blamed Ukrainian handlers via 
the Kremlin's army of TV propagandists - hardly anyone bought that story. 

In response, an already deeply racist and xenophobic society, along with its rabble-rousing Duma, started baying for blood. Their thoroughly corrupt immigration services who were earlier milking the immigrant workers, started flexing muscles, joined by OMON, Russia's brutal riot police, to start a crackdown on "illegals" and tightening border control. 

Meanwhile, over the years, things slowly improved in their home countries. Predictably, the flow of new migrant workers from Central Asia started drying up.

Russia had earlier also imported workers from Vietnam and still uses North Korean labour in its forest industry and gas pipeline laying in their Far East. The plausible excuse being that they are disciplined and diligent, while the locals vanish for a week-long vodka binge the moment they get paid. The North Korean workers arrive under tight government-to-government contracts, leaving the Russian side at the whims of a mercurial dictatorship. The Vietnamese experiment too had its pitfalls, as some immigrants quickly formed a mafia engaged in everything from drugs and prostitution to slave labour, proving to be more trouble than they were worth. 

Contrary to popular belief, not all village and small-town Russian men are out fighting in Ukraine for obscenely high salaries, or their wives gleefully awaiting coffins and a hefty government compensation. Most are doing low-paid provincial jobs, when not getting drunk, unwilling to relocate to major cities and adopt a high-pressure work and lifestyle. Besides, no Russian will agree to take home half his official wage or bunk up with 20 people in a room without toilets. More importantly, the job givers too are not interested in hiring them, irrespective of what they say on TV or in meetings.

As to the big question, for which no one had a real answer, from where to get the next wave of cheap workers?

 So now, Russia’s gaze has fallen on an unlikely country—India. A regular supplier of labour to the Gulf, and now a target of the misguided belief that Indians are mild, complacent, and obedient low-wage workers. A myth similar to one believed by many Russian women—that Indian men make ideal, obedient, and faithful husbands.

Coming back to the Russians who had called me—after hearing them out on the first call, I told them clearly that I had no experience in headhunting or manpower supply. But since they had called me, I extended them the courtesy of making a few calls to friends in the construction business. I also checked with a few manpower agents to understand the going rate for workers to get a rough overview of the market. What I heard wasn’t encouraging—and I told them so during our next interaction.

I also punctured a few of their assumptions. First, Indian workers’ domestic wages are only slightly lower than those in Russia—so why would anyone bother going there? Second, there are no ready "workers brigades” with passports and emigration permits waiting to fly out at a week’s notice. Even seasoned manpower suppliers need 4–6 weeks to get a group ready. Third—how do you plan to communicate with them? Sign language? Hiring interpreters will hardly get the work done, considering the amount of trade jargon used in various sectors. Besides, anytime I hear a Russian speak in Hindi, I beg them to switch back to Russian. 
Same with  most Desis  talking in Russian, irrespective of the years he or she slogged out at the Russian Cultural Centre classes.

Lastly, with all your bank sanctions, how exactly do you intend to pay them? Please don’t get ideas about using your government's huge stockpile of Indian Rupees—a new disbursal mechanism would have to be developed with the Indian government, and to the best of my knowledge, none exists so far.

They never called back. No follow-up. No thank-you.

To sum it up, if a proper framework and checks are put in place, it may work out after all, though I remain sceptically disposed. Indians have proved to be an incredibly resilient people, managing to survive and adapt everywhere. Though tiny, there is a successful Indian diaspora in Russia—even a Russian Duma MP of Bihari origin. However, even imagining a million dark-skinned, culturally alien Indians gainfully employed there, without running into a host of issues and cultural friction, is an entirely different matter.  

Moreover, there are almost no cultural, political, or economic ties between the two countries today to serve as a bridge—and not much mutual respect either. Except for the Nehru - Indira Gandhi era of Indu-Russi Bhai-Bhai sloganeering, the only other Russian thing truly widely known to Indians was the Russi Topi (Russian Hat). The iconic Ushanka—indispensable in their climate and immortalised in Mera Joota Hai Japani. The song, along with the film Mera Naam Joker, were arguably the closest India and Russia  connected in popular culture.

In Indian parlance, though, Topi often stands for illusion, while topi pehnana—to place a hat on someone—is shorthand for hoodwinking. So far, all Indo-Russian business proposals ever made to me, whether by accident or intent, end up a Topi : Illusions that melted away like a crust of snow in the first sunlight. As did this latest proposal.

Let's also not forget the recent scandal when Indians, lured with job offers in Russia, ended up on the Ukrainian frontline. 

Now that's a classic case of Russi Topi if you ask me.

1 comment:

Sinjit said...

Well written Ravi. You haven't lost your touch. The black humour is there. Next time please include some of the epithets you must have used.
Btw, I'm not sure that the average Indian workers living in hovels of metros won't jump at the chance of going 'Phoren' - minimum wages be damned.
It's like migrating from village to the urban squalor. "Doing a job," as my cook's wife says, standing all the time for 8-9 hours with 30 mnts lunch / pee break / no holidays in the basement department stores, employed not by the store but by one of the many 'brands' on sale.
Prestige counts!

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