Fill her Up..

 When I first dipped my toes into inland navigation, I once embarked on a few zig-zagging trips aboard the local country boat ferries, known as “Bhutbhuti,” on the Brahmaputra in Guwahati. After my earlier failed attempts to engage with country boat operators and nearly getting tossed out by hostile crews, I took a different approach. I played the role of a clueless NRI( Indian residing abroad), out on a nostalgia trip in my hometown. With a big, stupid grin, obsessively clicking everything with my mobile, I asked the most naive questions, looking every bit like a harmless tourist.

 

 

A new government subsidized marine engine in a Country Boat Ferry,

but it still doesn't plug the leaks 

 

 What I saw on those trips wasn't eye-opening as I had seen it all before. The boats were all flooded up to the floorboards. Their propeller shafts, connected to old lorry engines serving as power plants, were so poorly sealed, that they practically poured water into the hull. When I innocently asked, “Why not pump the water out?” I got a surprising answer: “The water toughens up the wood!” 

The reality, of course, is quite the opposite. Constant exposure to water rots the wood, and that's why these boats crumble like matchsticks in every riverboat accident. These boats are made with reverse clinker hull constructions, where planks are nailed atop one another with an overlap, and the gaps are filled with rope and tar. Keeping the wood damp is part of their sealing process — the wood swells, closing the gaps. However, these boats leak at virtually every joint due to poor craftsmanship. But, it took me another half-decade of working in this field to understand why they keep their boats flooded. Most of the reasons are unknown even to the operators themselves.

1. Their design is inherently flawed, making the boats unstable. The water load inside acts as ballast, somewhat improving stability. But it comes at a huge cost — increasing the boat's weight, reducing speed, lowering the waterline, and making them prone to capsizing as the water inside shifts when the boat tilts.

2. There's a deeply ingrained belief that a heavier boat is a more stable and safer boat, a belief that has persisted for centuries. This thinking has even carried over to metal ferry builders and many naval architects. The result? It's not only the Country Boats, but inefficient steel monstrosities, consuming insane amounts of fuel, that continue to dominate our waterways for decades.

 

Water up to the floor boards, a characteristic 

of all wooden country boat ferries.

Crow Strike

 

 

 

 

My two cents on the Crow-Strike episode. Like a crow shit bombing your head, events of this magnitude rarely take place by fluke, but after meticulous planning. Compare it with the Stuxnet attack for perspective. Considering that a worldwide media hysteria has not been racked up for blaming Russians and Chinese, without any evidence of course, what are the alternative scenarios?

Remember, it's the same company that claimed that Putin hacked the DNC servers, again without providing a shred of evidence. A claim weaponized by team Hillary and taken to a point of frenzy by the pro-Democrat US mass media.

The current cybersecurity event is most likely a result of the infighting in the Democrat Camp and the US Deep State. Whether a coincidence or not, it took place just days after a Manchurian Candidate failed to assassinate Trump. While Biden withdrew his Presidential candidature the very next day.

Whether as a show of strength or an-arm twisting maneuver, it cost billions to very unhappy investors and businesses. A cyber 911 if you will, that is, unless you are still  drinking the US official Kool-Aid narrative and watching the poorly doctored videos of planes crashing into buildings.

And who is better for the job, than a very murky, US government-connected cybersecurity company with a couple of Russo-American Jewish founders (Déjà vu) with deep Democratic Party and WEF links, to hang millions of computers with an "Oops" update?

Crow-Strike co-founder Kurtz already has experience bricking tens of thousands of computers while working as the CTO of McAfee in 2010. His co-Founder and fellow Jewish (a coincidence I am sure) Alperovitch has since left the company and is functioning as Democrat/Deep State anti-Russia and anti-China hawk and mouthpiece, as well as self-styled geopolitical expert and a WEF stooge.

As for the overlap in other countries like India? 

Well, let's use the favorite American term..." Collateral Damage"!

Anyway, serves these Desi and other corporations right for blindly using a US monopolistic giant's substandard IT products when there are better, safer alternatives. One whose founder is incidentally more interested in promoting dubious vaccines and pandemic fearmongering than code? 

Conspiracy theory, antisemitism, denial, or just connecting dots to figure out the obvious. 

A Crow Strike it was...

Where's your Degree, Imposter ?

 

 Someone wrote a long LinkedIn post about the importance of a good educational record for furthering a corporate career.
 
I won't delve into the pros and cons of that view, as I chose to respect the current results, competence and the ability to take a challenge headlong, and not for what someone mugged up a decade or more back or the grades received.
 
I have repaired, rectified and corrected  Fuck-Ups ( for lack of a more genteel expression) of enough pompous and incompetent professionals (from Structural and Combustion Engineers to Marine Engineers and Naval Architects) who never fail to remind others of their prestigious Alma Mater, to have any respect for alumni of high ranking educational institution.

Nonetheless, experience has taught me that there is another side of the coin as well.
 
Recently, in a (nowadays) rare episode, I had a massive flare-up with a client whose IIT Rubber stamp Naval Architect conveniently overlooked drawing and providing diagrams of the hydraulic steering assembly for which I had to stay up the whole night to make them. I already had to rectify about 8-9 serious design lapses, which including regulatory violations, an anchor 5-times the required weight and a power generation capacity, trice the load. 

 

The client meanwhile, without informing me, made a backup plan by hiring a hydraulic Mechanic - a semi-literate know-all who considered looking at my diagrams or the product installation manual a waste of time and immediately demonstrated that he had no clue how to do the job. The result was that the project, already having an impossible deadline, was further delayed by another 5–6 days, and I effectively washed my hands off from making any further attempts to expedite things.

The client and his employees got an earful when I reminded him that not only I had bailed out the whole project, but also saved their asses for over a year, rectifying design errors, sourcing equipment, supervising installation and placating the unhappy principals for the delays. And yet, I was consistently saddled with his mistrust at every stage, as he doubted and 2nd guessed my every piece of advice and argued at each step, but after significant delay, invariably did what I first suggested. At the same time, he swept all the faux pas of the Naval Architects and Engineers under the carpet, and the sole reason for such partiality was that they had a technical degree, and I didn't. Notwithstanding their proven and often costly incompetence,   anyone with a formal degree would always remain the real deal for him. And I, despite my knowledge and track record, would always remain an imposter.

To my final proclamation that he is free to finish the project with his IIT pass Naval Architects, Engineers and super-specialist mechanics, the client retorted, "You can't be serious, they can't solve any practical problems!"

I be damned...

Summits without a Peak

Jobless, I was in the garage working on my bikes, having left my last profession as a travel and automotive writer in disgust after not being paid for my published works for over six months. A neighbourhood PCO ( private phone booths which were everywhere in the 90s and early 2000s)owner called, saying two men claiming to be from the newly built IIT Guwahati were looking for me. He added that they were very disrespectful and advised me to send them packing. The duo were from India's National Innovation Foundation, a government organization promoting grassroots innovators, looking for the "Bullet Innovator." If they seemed rude, it was because a school classmate gave them my reference, saying, "Just ask anyone in that locality for the bike mad fellow, they'll show you his house."

 The PCO owner was apparently not amused.

They came to see my twin-spark plug Bullet, which I had converted in the mid-90s—about a decade before Bajaj Auto and years before Royal Enfield adopted the technology. Upon seeing the bike and hearing how the compression was raised, the clutch modified, and so on, they wanted to nominate me for an award. I flatly refused, saying Triumph had the first twin-spark bike racer way back in 1911, and Alfa Romeo had been using twin plugs in their cars since the 70s. "But you're the first in India," they argued and pursued the matter for some time, but I never relented, saying I would be an imposter.

Almost a decade later, quite by accident, I discovered that the same organizations published an e-book entitled "Assam Innovates" and yours is truly featured prominently in it, sporting a rock star hairdo, posing along with a dismantled motorbike. The text alongside is pure garbage as clearly those chaps, despite making copious notes, didn't know a thing about IC engines. Nonetheless, it elevated me from the level of a tinkerer, amateur mechanic, and "bike mad fellow" to the leagues of innovators.

Recently, I was invited to deliver a keynote address on Innovation, Sustainability, and Green Tech at the 8th NE Green Summit in Itanagar, the capital of the North-East Indian state of Arunachal Pradesh, which China also claims as its own. Instead of vomiting data copied from the internet or using cryptic, cliché terms preferred by climate and sustainability gurus and jhola wallas, I chose to delve into the meaning of these words and suggest technologies that can effect positive change in the North-Eastern region of India.

However, while attending the seminar, I immediately realized that I had just wasted three days of my life. I also drew several other conclusions:

  1.  No matter how noble the idea behind the event, none of the discussions matter unless policymakers and community leaders lend a patient ear to domain experts, innovators, and green tech entrepreneurs.

  2.  Cliché terms like "Net Zero" or "Carbon Neutrality" are empty words unless accompanied by definitive examples of technology, processes, and success stories backed by data.

3.  Pickles and wine, no matter how good, and cane baskets, no matter how intricately woven, are not examples of Innovation, Sustainability, Green Tech, or the Circular Economy.

4.  The fact that some money has been raised by brick-and-mortar businesses masquerading as startups is neither an indicator of their success nor a sign of a healthy ecosystem or genuine commitment to green tech or sustainability.

5.  To the pundits from metropolises who love to "grace" such sessions as VIP guests, spouting drivel like "Oh, the North-East is the lungs of India," and telling us that we need to eat, sleep, and live in bamboo huts or become completely organic, I suggest they look around erstwhile lush hill stations like Shillong or Bomdila and decide what "cancer" has afflicted these lungs—or take a look at Sri Lanka and its organic experiment.

As for  bamboo, my team and I design and build advanced bamboo biocomposite vessels like trimarans and catamarans, along with ultra-lightweight and low-cost fishing and rescue boats. However, none of the so-called deep-impact investors seem to have even a fleeting interest in our work when we mention it to them.

Lastly, judging by the photographs of me speaking at the event, I must admit that I seriously need to shed some weight.

I think that's the most attainable short-term sustainability goal I can strive for...

I wanna hold your Haaannd...

Every week, I receive at least three emails from different Incubators and Accelerators, Indian and foreign regarding contests and programs, most of them paid, each invariably offering the same menu of mentoring, hand-holding and government and industry connections as a service. All have little appeal to us as most mentors I have come across or who were forced upon me, had zero idea or domain knowledge about what we are doing, with personalities ranging from simply inept to domineering know-alls.

The same applies to hand-holding as it can be interpreted in any way one chooses as there is neither assurance of the quality of the help rendered nor accountability. The promise of government and industry connections is an equal farce because most decision-making level Sarkari Babus even after granting a meeting, have little or no incentive to follow through on their commitments. 

Industry connections are usually worse, as the best one can hope for is a motivational speech by a CEO or a Chairman at a meeting, but mostly it's an interaction with a low to medium-level cog having neither authority nor any intent to risk his or her career by taking up the cause of a struggling Startup. In the worst case, your product or service idea can be pinched and touted to their bosses as their own work.

 

 Check out more great Startup related cartoons 

at https://freshspectrum.com

 

 I learned quickly enough that just like most so-called Startups are full of Bullshit and Buzzwords created  solely with the agenda of snaring investors money using the greater-fool template,  most Incubators and Accelerators also exist for their vested interests. First, it's their salaries, a number game as to how many they take under their wing and lastly, a percentage as service charges in case they are lucky enough to snare an investor for a Startup.

Lately, with the government-promised funds to develop the Startup economy drying up, getting stuck or simply vaporising and with the investors not forthcoming any longer, considering the abysmal track record of Indian Startups, including unicorns, many are starting to devise paid programs, the kind mentioned earlier. Peddling dreams of Investors and purported knowledge to the desperate and to make the programs seem more exclusive, they  claim to cap the numbers. 

As it is, Indian Incubators and Investors have both been playing safe all along, as evidenced by their preference for supporting only proven business models with a predictable business trajectory and revenue stream. Hence, the term Startup has been turned on its head and essential elements like innovation, the usage of technology to solve a problem and disruptive elements are forgotten, it is now used to define any new brick-and-mortar entrepreneurial venture. In the Indian context, a Jute Bag maker qualifies to be called a Startup, a Pickle maker is also a Startup, and so is the Tour operator, offering rustic nature trails and village home-cooked meals! All that is required is a DIPP number and to sign up for incubation with a government recognised Incubator.

“Oh you are cribbing again, so negative and frustrated” I hear a chorus of self-righteous chiding voices already!

Nope, I am just narrating from experience, and if you want to know what worked for us, it is working without intermediaries. We stumble, fall, pick ourselves up, learn from mistakes, knock on all doors, and sometimes open them ourselves. Nothing works like tenacity and confidence in the work that you are doing, moving one sure step at a time, going as lean as possible, crossing several milestones and attaining a certain critical mass to achieve a modicum of bargaining power.

Lastly, experience has taught me to dismiss right away all the big-mouthed, all-promising new people one meets at the exhibitions with shovel loads of salt, as well as with caution because that is where you meet all the  loudmouth and con-men, not to forget the bipolar, psychotic, narcissistic fruitcakes.