Come Sail Away

Hardly a day goes by without a friend or well-wisher forwarding me some news item or a half-page government proclamation, notice or advertisement about thousands of crores being spent on the development of inland water transport. Frankly, I am clueless about the correct term for these exorbitant taxpayer-funded ads, splashed across national and regional dailies with which the governments pat their own backs.

Great. Except I fail to see how I am supposed to capitalise on any of this or climb onto this gravy train.

My experience with “approaching the system” has been abysmal at best. I built four different boats at my own cost, based on discussions with senior officials in the Central Fisheries departments. None of them ever bothered to come down and see the boats.

The state forest department initially showed some interest, but their wish list was always inversely proportional to their budget. One outgoing Secretary, a genuine well-wisher, warned me not to engage further, saying, “I know your struggle. I don’t want you entering this quagmire, supplying boats, and then waiting years to get paid.”

These days they call me up only to ask the market prices of inflatables, fibreglass boats and OBMs. When I tell them I do not deal in any of these, their reply is, “Well, you are an expert, you know the market.”

Free on demand consultancy, dressed up as compliments!

Forest departments from other states who sent enquiries promptly lost interest the moment I said “no can do” to billing them 50% to 100% above my EXW price.

The Hon. Central Minister of Ports and Shipping heard me out patiently for half an hour. My only request was for a place to work on the Brahmaputra side under the Sagarmala Startup Initiative, not as a favour, but under existing provisions. He was positive. His subordinates were not. The only tangible outcome was a photo-op, now proudly plastered on our website.

So when a young friend started pushing me about a grand scheme to launch modern houseboats on the Brahmaputra, I told him, go ahead, try your luck. It is a doable project and should have plenty of takers - nature heads, Instagrammers and all those up for a one-night romp on the waterfront or an island. Moreover, there seem to be numerous government schemes to support such a venture, at least on paper. If you manage to get traction anywhere, I am around to provide backend and technical support. But don’t expect me to spend hours preparing presentations and glossy renders for you in the hope that something might click.

Because having walked those high-level corridors earlier, I heard the same thing from all quarters - Ministers, Babus to Dalals. “Deka, bhai, Ravi… why are you putting in so much hard work? You know so many people in this sector. You know big companies here and abroad. Just bring someone to us. We shall all benefit...”

Still, I gave this friend a couple of renders of a houseboat design I had earlier spent nearly three months working on for a Forest Department tender. It was meant to meet their specific challenge for a shallow and muddy water capable vessel with long range, and accommodation for six people for extended patrols on the Brahmaputra.

The project, ultimately, remained on paper. None of the concerned departments were willing to vet the design, claiming it did not fall under their purview. The file kept circulating, and stagnating, for months.

Finally, after six months, someone called me and said, “Deka Sahab, the forest fellows sent us some drawings and technical details for a vessel. Gauging by the quality of the drawings, the high-funda technical specs and the English, I know it’s your work. So, can you please draft a reply for us?”

By then, I had realised that I couldn't adhere to their delivery terms and payment structure. Even if I had agreed, their budget would have ensured I lost money.

I simply told them as I was not going to build the boat, and they were free to reply however they wished. So they sent back a letter advising them against our Bamboo Composite construction material and to instead go for a traditional wooden or fibreglass boat!

When I later asked them why they sent such a negative note, surprised, they protested, but you only told us to...

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